Illustration of woman sitting in a huge flower that's sprouting from a flower pot
By Categories: Change3.6 min read

One of my central beliefs is that we must do something different to feel something different.

If we wait to feel inspired, calm, motivated, or happy before taking action, the improvement we’re looking for may be elusive.  But if we take action and make a move toward our goals, even incrementally, those small steps can contribute to feeling better and change the course of our day or even our life.

Once the chain is started, it keeps moving in a positive direction.

Take action,

Feel slightly better,

which inspires us to…

Take another action,

Feel even better,

Until we’re feeling and functioning the way we want to!

This doesn’t mean there will be no bad days or difficult moments, but it’s a way of showing up for ourselves and develops trust in our ability to care for our emotions.

What does all that have to do with beauty and order?

Our physical surroundings reflect and affect the way we feel, which is powerful because we can take action to change our environment.

Reflect

If you are feeling overwhelmed and very worried, I’m going to bet that somewhere in your life there’s also a physical mess.  Maybe your desk is cluttered, your laundry is sitting unfolded in the basket, there are piles of mail in your car, your bed is unmade, or you have no idea of what needs to be accomplished in the next week.  This is the physical reflection of how we’re feeling inside.

Affect

Again, it may be tempting to say, “once I feel better, I will get things organized.”  I believe the opposite is true.  Getting things in order can be a powerful investment in changing your mood. In my experience, this is especially true of anxious feelings.  You can take control back and calm anxiety by deciding action comes first.

For instance…

I stopped by to chat with a friend of mine, who is typically a minimalist when it comes to her surroundings.  Her desk is usually clear, and even when she’s working with a pile of papers, they’re neatly stacked and tidy.  This is a reflection of how she usually feels and functions.  She is in a good relationship, has supportive friends, eats healthy, stays active, and is generally doing well.  On this day though, it looked as if a small bomb had been set off in her office.  On her desk there were pens, papers, files, an empty cup, lipstick, her cell phone, and some half-dead flowers in a vase.  What the heck?

In talking with her, I found out that she was preoccupied with some serious health concerns.  No wonder!  Her surroundings were a big billboard announcing that something was off.

You might be tempted to ask if cleaning her desk solved her health worries.  I see where you’re headed there, and that may have been a good step.

What actually helped was for her to take direct action about her worries, which meant stopping to call her doctor.  Just taking that much control made her feel better enough that she then did feel motivated to straighten things up, which in turn made her feel even better.  Her action started a healthy and good cycle.

Beauty as a Catalyst for Order

When I’m in a messy head space and need to sort myself out, I’ll often start by going to the grocery store and buying a small bouquet of flowers.  Even $6 worth of carnations in a mason jar on my counter can be the catalyst to my cleaning the whole house.

Maybe doing the dishes wasn’t my top priority, but bringing a beautiful thing like fresh cut flowers into my environment can motivate me to create a tidy room around them.

Have a Bias Toward Action

If you are in a situation where there’s a specific problem on which you can act, identify one step you can take and move in that direction.  If you’re having a hard time seeing what action that should be, talk to a trusted friend or counselor.  Just making that call or sending out that text can be a deposit in filling your emotional tank, calming your anxiety, and getting back on track.

 

 

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Karen Tessandore, LPC - Online Counseling for Women in Alaska

Karen Tessandore, LPC

I'm a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Anchorage, Alaska, providing therapy via telehealth to women statewide in both Alaska and Colorado. Nothing inspires me more than seeing women thrive.

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