Deciding to Divorce: Is it time to leave?
It can be hard to admit to yourself that it may be time to leave your marriage, even when you know you’re done.
The fear of making that change public – to your partner, family, friends, even coworkers – can be daunting.
The range of worries swirling through your mind may sound like:
- What will people think of me?
- Should I have tried harder?
- It’s too selfish to leave.
- It will hurt my partner too much.
- Do I even have a valid reason to leave?
- Maybe I expected to much from my relationship.
- Who am I to be happy anyway – all relationships are work, right?
Therapy is a safe place to work through your feelings and make a plan that feels right for you.
When Divorce Goes Against Your Religion
Considering whether it’s time to end your marriage can be upsetting and complicated.
For women of faith—especially when you’ve been raised in your religion—the decision can feel even more painful, bringing up thoughts such as:
- What will my pastor/priest/church members think?
- I wasn’t raised to believe in divorce. My family’s disappointment will be unbearable!
- I’m unhappy in my marriage, but leaving makes me feel so guilty.
Considering divorce may even have you questioning your beliefs.
If talking to people in your faith community feels risky, or if you’ve tried and are unsatisfied with the answers there, talking it out with a therapist who understands but can offer an outside perspective may help. While I don’t counsel from a religious standpoint, I also am not invested in changing your beliefs. I’m here to offer a nonjudgmental place to explore your feelings and options.
Concerns: Legal, Financial, and Safety
Divorce can be so emotionally destabilizing that it can be tempting to say “I don’t want anything, I just want out!”
While that’s understandable, it also may be unnecessary. Don’t let fear or guilt leave you in a worse place in life. There’s no need to punish yourself financially for wanting out of a relationship.
Here are some professionals who can help you along with the concrete decisions you’ll need to make:
