The Affair Triangle
Whether you are having an affair, your partner has cheated, or you are currently in a relationship as the other women, all three roles can be painful, confusing places.
Affairs are common, so you’re not alone, although it can feel lonely and isolating no matter which part of the triangle you’re experiencing.
“I’m Having an Affair”
I don’t know anybody who started a committed relationship believing they would eventually have an affair. It’s complicated though, isn’t it? Relationships change. Needs change. And sometimes the way we strive to meet those needs is through a new relationship.
Once an affair has started, it can be really hard to stop. It’s new and exciting and the secrecy turns every emotion up to 10. Maybe you’re not even sure you want it to stop, but you fear getting caught or hurting your partner.
You may be unhappy in your primary relationship and trying to get out, or maybe you’ve never once considered leaving your partner. But now what? There’s a third person involved and the way forward may not be so clear. I’m here to help. Let’s talk about it.
“My Partner Cheated”
I’m so sorry. Learning your partner has been unfaithful can rattle your foundations until you don’t even know which way is up. It can feel like an emergency, but one with no clear path to safety.
Your nervous system is all wound up. Anger, hurt and self-doubt swirl around. It can make you question your faith in… well… everything.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out. It takes time to heal from infidelity. Let me help you get your feet back under you and sit with you while you catch your breath.
Maybe your focus is repairing the relationship, or maybe this is a deal-breaker for you and you’re looking at your options to leave.
My role is to help you process your emotions and support you in whichever path you choose.
“My Boyfriend is Married”
For as long as there have been relationships there have been people in the role of the other woman. If you’re in a romantic relationship with someone who is married or primarily committed to someone else, and you are feeling unsure or conflicted about your situation, I’m interested in supporting you.
You may find yourself thinking:
- Will he ever leave her for me? (Am I terrible for even wishing that?)
- I feel like I can’t ever be upset when with I’m with him because we have so little time together.
- I’m always waiting—for a call, for a visit—and I can’t take it! My life feels “on hold.”
I’m here to help you explore your thoughts and feelings about being in this role; to help you understand how you got here, and to support you in continuing, celebrating, changing, or ending it if that’s what you choose.
I also offer the Being Jolene Online Course, available wherever you are, on-demand day or night!
I hope this is especially helpful to women outside of my geographic practice area. Although I hear from women all over the country on this topic, therapists generally can’t work across state lines (unless we’re licensed in multiple states.) With telehealth becoming more common, that’s beginning to change. Currently I only practice with clients in Alaska and Colorado.
