Quieting the Need for People Pleasing
It is nice to be nice.
Being nice at the expense of your own wellbeing though can be exhausting and lead to resentment.
Needing to be liked and approved of by everybody is also linked to depression and anxiety, especially for people who are also perfectionists.
You may have people-pleasing tendencies if you find yourself:
- Apologizing for everything.
- Being quick to say yes to all requests.
- Feeling highly-sensitive to even the idea that someone may be mad at you.
- Worrying all the time that people are mad at you.
- Agreeing (at least out loud) with everyone, even when you privately disagree.
- Feeling resentful about things you agreed to do.
- Inability to tolerate the discomfort of others—feeling like you have to “fix it.”
- Feeling uneasy until you have words of approval and affirmation from others.
- Not letting people know when they’ve upset you.
If this sounds like you and these habits have become too heavy to carry by yourself, let’s talk.
Therapy can help you explore these habits and look at alternative ways of thinking and behaving, like working on boundary-setting.
