Bolstering Boundary Setting
“What you accept is what you teach,” is a saying that’s stuck with me since first hearing it years ago.
It means that if people are treating you in a way you don’t enjoy and you don’t address it, you have taught them their behavior is fine with you.
A few things to know about setting a better standard for yourself:
- Making room for what you don’t want in your life clears space for all the wonderful, satisfying things you crave.
- Assertiveness is not aggressiveness.
- It’s ok and human to have needs and preferences.
- There’s no need to consistently prioritize the needs or preferences of others.
- People around you may appreciate knowing your expectations—they may not know you aren’t enjoying the relationship as-is.
- When you get clear about what’s important to you and how you want to be treated, life will be more enjoyable.
Not all people who treat you in ways you don’t enjoy are trying to be mean.
Yes, there are some people who are unkind and who will knowingly take advantage of you if they can.
But other people may inadvertently be making your life hell and not even know it.
This is where assertiveness and boundary setting come in.
