Is your boyfriend married? You’re excited, hopeful, but also struggling with the waiting and the secrecy.

You’re not alone.

Being an affair partner can be lonely and isolating.  In my experience — both in my personal past and now as a professional counselor working with affair partners — these relationships are complicated.  You never thought you’d be in this position, but here you are.  Our stories are all unique and you deserve the happy, healthy life and partnership you’re craving.

Preview of the Being Jolene course on different devices.
The Being Jolene Online Course is everything I wish I had known when I was the Other Woman, informed now by my years of experience as a therapist. I want to provide a welcoming space with ZERO JUDGMENT to help you come back to yourself so you can make the best decisions for your own life.

This course offers a little island of hope, some practical help, and a reminder that you will be ok.  Whether or not you stay with him and whether or not he stays with her.  You will be ok.

The Being Jolene Online Course includes 30 illustrated video sessions and 8 hours of on-demand, engaging, evidenced-based content and hands-on exercises + a 50-page downloadable workbook.

This course is my way of acting as a supportive girlfriend (who won’t give you that face when you bring up his name), who’s also a therapist (so knows some things that could shift you out of the heavier spaces), and is available at 2:00 in the morning.

Preview of the Being Jolene Workbook pages

Is this for me?

The Being Jolene Online Course is ideal if you:
Being Jolene course image on laptop in sunny living room.
  • Are newly in love with a married man with hope for a future together, but have started to question how long you can tolerate not only having a secret, but being a secret.
  • Have been involved with a married man for months or years and are starting to lose yourself in the stress and secrecy of the relationship.
  • Find yourself feeling anxious and wondering how you got here, but also unable to imagine life without him.
  • Are always waiting, waiting, waiting and feel ready to take control of your life.
  • Want to regain your sense of self within the relationship so you can show up as the woman you want to be.
  • Are determined to make the relationship work, but are done putting your life on hold while he sorts out his marriage.
  • Feel desperate for a better way to navigate your relationship and want access to hands-on tools.
  • Find yourself in love with a married man again and want to learn a different way to navigate this relationship.

Meet Karen

Hi, I’m Karen Tessandore, a Licensed Professional Therapist working exclusively with women, and I’ve created the Being Jolene Online Course just for you: the wonderful, savvy, single woman who’s fallen for a married man.

Let me guide you through the emotional roller-coaster of being an affair partner, so no matter what – you will be ok.

Karen Tessandore, LPC - Online Counseling for Women in Alaska

What We’ll Explore

The Home Framework

Module 1: Foundation

A solid Foundation is what makes your emotional home a stable and secure place to build.  We’ll jump into “Emotions 101” and tools for emotional first aid; what’s going on in your brain when you feel anxious; identifying where you’re at with your emotional window of tolerance; and so many tools to care for yourself during the anxious highs and the feeling-sad lows.

Module 2: Walls, Windows, Doors

Building on the solid foundation, we move into framing your emotional home, constructing the metaphorical Walls, Windows, and Doors. Looking at for whom or what you open the door to let in to your life and who/what you want to open the windows and let go of.  We’ll explore: your values; connecting with your Wise Woman self; and tools to remind you who you are when you’re feeling shaky.

Module 3: Roof

The Roof of the home offers protection.  Here we’re going to get into recognizing when you might need to protect yourself. Being the Other Woman is hard even when both of you are healthy, kind, and a partnership of equals. Sometimes though it’s not just hard because he’s married. We’ll discuss: how to identify worrisome power and control tendencies in the relationship and when it’s just too much and might be time for a break.

Module 4: Decorate

Now that you have the tools to build a solid foundation, you’ve framed your emotional home by connecting deeply with yourself, and you know what signs to watch for to protect yourself — it’s time to Decorate!  We’ll discuss connecting with others (friends, family, dating) and making your life colorful, warm, and deeply satisfying, outside of your relationship with him.

Module 5: Hearth

I think of him – the relationship – as the Hearth of the home.  Building a fire takes some skill, but when we do it right…we get light, heat, nourishment.  Same with relationships.  We’ll talk all about relationship skills, such as communication, healthy boundaries, showing up as your genuine self, and how to practice these skills now – even when he’s still married, knowing they’ll translate to the day he’s all yours, or to a future relationship.

Module 6: Renovate

We’ve created our home – now solid, safe, and cozy. But sometimes, when you’ve changed your mind or there’s been damage – it’s time to Renovate.  We’ll consider what’s next when:

1. He’s gone back to his wife and broken things off with you, or 2. You’ve recognized that you need to walk away and end things (and how to STAY away) or 3. He’s left her and now he’s all yours!

Frequently Asked Questions

While my focus is speaking to women who are single and have fallen in love with a married man, the course is absolutely full of beneficial mental health practices and tools that could help any affair partner!   You may recognize yourself too in the experiences shared by the single other woman.

Absolutely!  As long as you’re in a relationship with a man who’s otherwise committed to someone else, this course was designed for you.

All who identify as women are welcome here! I believe the practical tools, exercises, and information can benefit any woman who’s in a relationship as an affair partner.  You’ll notice though, the language and examples throughout are about a woman with a male partner.  That choice is not about being default hetero-normative, but rather because I believe the power dynamics in a female-to-male relationship have defining characteristics, culturally.  Having not yet researched infidelity in the queer community, this course doesn’t speak specifically to that experience.

If you’re ready to join The Being Jolene Course, click here to get started!

You’ll have access for 6 months from the date of purchase.

The 6 modules are meant to take 1 week each to complete, although you can move through them more quickly if you prefer.

I really want you to benefit from your investment in this course and the 6-month time frame will give you time to get through all the content, including practicing the tools and exercises offered, while leaving room to revisit the ones that seem most helpful to you. With online courses that have longer access, it’s too easy to put off participation indefinitely.

I want to make sure this course is a good fit for you, so I’m offering a 14-day money back guarantee.  Once payment is received you’ll have immediate access to:

  • The Welcome Module, including a bonus video Context: How did we get here? (As the Other Woman)
  • Module 1: Foundation (6 illustrated video sessions)
  • Module 2: Walls, Windows, Doors (5 illustrated video sessions)
  • Workbook, part 1 of 2 (Downloadable 24 page PDF, which is yours to keep and use even if you request your money back!)

If you want to keep your access and see what’s next, no further action or payment is required and the rest of the course will be unlocked in 14 days! 🎉  This includes 15 more illustrated video sessions over the next 4 modules, and part 2 of the Workbook.

However, if you find the Being Jolene Online Course is just not for you, please email me your feedback within the first 14 days about what specifically wasn’t working for you (so I can continue to improve this course offering) and you’ll receive a full refund.  Once you receive access to the full course on day 14, no refund is available.

Although I wish there wasn’t such a stigma to being the Other Woman, I recognize that there is.  Because of that, inside the course there are no message boards or comment sections, so nobody will see your name as a participant.

As a therapist, keeping things confidential is second nature to me.  Although we won’t have a client/therapist relationship, as part of my ethical commitment to you, your participation in this course will remain private.

Additionally, I did a test purchase of my own course and the charge came through listed as “CFH*The Being Jolene Course” (CFH = Counseling for Her) which should be sufficiently vague, if you’re concerned about the information seen by your financial institution.